I pumped in parking lots before meetings, reheated leftovers while bouncing Onica on one hip, and answered Bradley’s endless dinosaur questions before I even managed to take my shoes off.
Carl, meanwhile, perfected one routine.
Sitting on the couch.
“Did you send out any applications today?” I asked one evening while stepping over another pile of laundry.
“I’m networking,” Carl answered without lifting his eyes from his phone.
“With whom?”
“People. It’s not something you’d understand, Nina.”
Like always, I let it pass.
The comments about Alice started as occasional remarks before becoming routine.
Over breakfast.
During coffee.
Even while I changed diapers.
“You should see Alice’s dance class videos,” Carl said one morning. “She dances beautifully, has an athletic body, and wears short skirts! And you?”
“That’s great for her,” I replied quietly while wiping applesauce from Bradley’s chin.
“You used to have that kind of energy.”
My hand stopped.
Bradley stared at me with wide eyes, applesauce still sitting on one eyebrow.
“Carl, I had a baby recently.”
“I’m just saying. Alice still finds time for her dance classes.”
“Alice is 28 and doesn’t have a newborn strapped to her chest.”
Carl only shrugged, as though I’d just proven his point.
That evening, I made one more attempt at having a real conversation.
“I need help around the house,” I said. “You’re home all day. I’m not asking for miracles. I’m asking for dishes.”
“I’m dealing with a lot right now.”
“So am I.”
“It’s different, Nina.”
“How?”
Carl never answered.
Instead, he reached for his phone, and once again I noticed him tilting the screen away before tapping it.
I convinced myself I was imagining things.
The little details kept piling up until they were impossible to ignore.
Before Steve and Alice came over, Carl actually showered.
Not just a quick rinse—a full routine, complete with the cologne he usually saved for anniversaries.
“Big plans?” I teased as he fussed with his collar.
“Just want to look decent.”
“You looked decent yesterday in gym shorts you haven’t washed in a week.”